Admittedly, Boneset sounds more like an early 90's American Gladiator than a garden plant, but like an American Gladiator it kicks the crap out of just about every fall flowering opponent. It's other common name is bugbane, but that doesn't conjure any clever or snarky parallels to pop culture, so we'll stick with the fear-instilling Boneset and watch as he clobbers a police man and a banker from Ohio in the joust. Purple Snakeroot has been a shifty name changer in the past few years, known previously as Cimicifuga simplex, the lady in the garden store will now respond to Actaea simplex. The first and most obvious thing to notice on this shady character is the big crazy white flower spike that emerges like Boneset's joust in late summer atop the soul-lessly dark burgundy foliage. This kind of contrast should be revered and utilized in the Man-Garden as a metaphor for the great many complex emotions modern man is capable of. Emotions like hunger... happiness... ...can't think of any else.
Purple snakeroot delivers an incredible woft of muscular yet sweet smells throughout the early fall. It harmonizes perfectly with the scent of September and October camp fires and freshly crushed leaves. Make sure not to get any of the wicked flower spike on your roasted marshmallows - - Boneset is definitely poisonous if ingested. If anyone gives you guff about growing such a sweet scented yet burly and imposing plant, re-assure them you're merely growing it as an undetectable poison. Make sure not to make eye contact when you say it, either.
An average plant is will get around 3-6 feet in height and have a couple of foot spread. Like real snakes, snakeroot likes some sun, but too much will scorch it out pretty bad. Boneset also appears best in groups, especially as young plants. As these guys get older, they can be transplanted around as specimen pieces to really showcase your poison-growing abilities. Until then, clump 'em up in a few places throughout the garden to fill space with their dark foliage. This will help create a heavy and shadowed feel to the garden, even if the lion's share is in full sun. Like I said, he's a shady one that snakeroot...
If interviewed in a breathless post-match pant following a rousing victory, Actaea simplex would exclaim through it's thick Eastern-bloc accent "Boneset will make you feel like little girlie woman girl! Bow before most excellent greatness of Boneset's greatness, joust champion of the planet and the world!"
photo credit:
1] http://mimg.ugo.com/200712/25222/cuts/american-gladiators_288x288.jpg
2] http://www.crocus.co.uk/images/products2/PL/00/00/00/13/PL0000001372_card_lg.jpg
3] http://www.gapphotos.com/images/WebPreview/0086/0086976.jpg
4] https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCyScf3a1EhFRnoEqk1qnE2jpS08V9P3Ockqce8h9cTWjZ09ZGzcm9PDXIcLdm9nzUEeJdo-PY9qyiSJQx2-n79iXjBhdttJ48UQXoYEP3xt5EEfhL9rg_HodRsoqHJ9N7erZfzeoQj0Q/s1600/big.jpg
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