Globe of Destiny - Allium ssp.

The onion is a largely misunderstood creature. He's been given a pretty bad reputation for making wimpy cooks cry and for being a cheap vegetable to use in watery soups. But this culinary legacy isn't the only use or type of onion, nor do you need to have a veggie plot to grow 'em. Behold, the wonderous floating universe of the ornamental onion.



There are literally hundreds (and hundreds and hundreds...)of different Allium species, including the onions and garlic we're used to eating. The most common of these is the bulbousy globe-formed Allium, which forms a nearly perfect sphere in loads of colors. Because there are so many of these guys to choose from, you can find tiny Allium that will form a flower around 3-4" up to Allium that can be feet across. They're massive. And massive is impressive. And impressive is awesome. And Awesome is massive. And massive is.... Imagine having huge floating colorful globes in clumps creating little solar systems throughout your garden man-scape. A really motivated gardener could create a celestial simulation garden, using large Allium for planets, and small Allium as moons. Center the whole thing around a fire pit, and dang; killer garden idea.



An Allium is a bulb, and needs to be planted in the fall to bloom the next spring. This makes them fall bulbs. Now this is tricky, so don't drift off. Fall bulbs bloom in the spring; Spring bulbs bloom in the fall. The way we refer to them has to do with their planting time, rather than their blooming time. This is easy to screw up, but there's always Google to help you out. Because these are fall bulbs, they can be left underground all year. Fall bulbs (like tulips, daffodils, crocus, hyacinth, etc...) need a long cold spell to convince them it's time to wake up and bloom again. Spring bulbs are usually not hardy enough to let 'em hang out outside all winter, and will need to be dug up at the end of the season to store someplace warmer. But that's neither here nor there. The main thing to remember, is plant in fall, and watch the planets align.



A typical Allium reaches a few inches to a few feet in height. Naturally, the larger the bulb, the larger the bloom will be. Keep this in mind when planting them in the fall. If you put tall Allium plants right in the front of your garden edge, it might look kinda stupid. Put 'em back a few feet and put something smaller in front to hide it's feet. This way, it'll appear to just sort of rise out of nowhere, and will look much better. Give your bulbs plenty of water, and they definitely appreciate sufficient sun. These are also hardy pretty much everywhere, so you can plant 'em up and forget 'em.




photo credit:
1] http://www.pfaf.org/Admin/PlantImages/AlliumGiganteum.jpg
2]http://rheadavinci.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Solar-System.jpg
3]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qHwX9zAsufM/SoSYCPrmGpI/AAAAAAAAAhQ/ngrUke_ZZfE/s320/allium.JPG
4] http://www.adrbulbs.com/_ccLib/image/plants/DETA-381.jpg

The Dragon's Eye - Pinus densiflora

During my last epic wrastlin' match with a dragon I gripped the scaley-fire-beast in a monster headlock and even through the green bloody tears weeping from his defeated eyes, I recognized the similarity those big peepers had to Pinus densiflora - The Dragon's Eye Pine. Clearly I easily defeated the whimpering mutant reptile with my bare hands, but the likeness of his glowing eyes to the variegated bands of the needles of this spectacular pine has never left me. Ever since I planted this tree outside my front door in the tradition of many great Japanese samurai, I've not had to battle with even one measly creature of legend. (That first part is actually true though, samurai would plant these just outside of their homes. It's a fact.)



Pine needle variegation is rare, but that only matters if you know what variegation is. The term 'variegation' refers to alternating color patterns which occur from mutations in different layers of a plants leaves, or in this case, needles. If you've ever seen leaves with patterns of green-white-green, or any combination of those colors, it is probably variegated. (But not always...) Most any Dragon's Eye Pine you come across is also likely the result of a graft, which is to say that it's a piece of one plant tacked onto the bottom of another. This is because Pinus densiflora creates sterile cones, so it shouldn't naturally reproduce itself. (Unless you find yourself with all-female dinosaurs on Isla Nublar, in which case, "Nature Finds A Way...")



Besides its killer needles, the Dragon's Eye Pine has bark like the skin of a mottled orange/brown lizard-snake-thing, which flakes and develops into an unimaginable scale-like pattern. The contrast of these two remarkable color features makes Pinus densiflora the most radical choice of pine tree available today. There is no comparison, and I fully reject any/all other species as inferior. (Unless I post another species of pine at some point. In which case, I will note having made an allowance then. But not until then. This one is the best.)



As a native of Japan and Korea, Dragon's Eye Pine is hardy through most of zones 4 and 5 through 8. Typically used as a specimen tree rather than as a massing, your Garden Man-scape will benefit most if your tree is placed to get as much sun as possible. These are really pretty simple plants to manage and won't need much special attention, if at all. It should be noted that some plants suffer from a sort of dulling of the crazy variegations as new needles are forming in the spring. But fear not, Pinus densiflora gets back to it's former glory quickly. After 15 years or so a good tree can get around 20' high, but can be hacked into whatever size pleases you. These are also excellent to consider if you practice bonsai, as the wildly different needles set them apart as magnificent specimens.



Reminiscing back to that last dragon-fight always gets me jazzed up about the Dragon's Eye Pine. Whether used as a trophy to commemorate a victorious battle, or just to show off your impeccable horticultural selection, Pinus densiflora will never disappoint. It will never make you angry. It will never call you names. Every season. Every year. This pine is #1.


photo credit:
1] http://pgwebdesign.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/winter-dragon-fighting.jpg
2] http://loneelder.com/images/Pinus_densiflora_Oculus_Draconis__web.JPG
3] http://www.petesmoviepage.com/Jurassic/door.gif
4] http://www.conifers.org/pi/pi/densiflora03.jpg
5] https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZF-77kMBJUftx_ruPhbL5p68kJXIitWAvarEYpjp_ElAnrW08OpH6xx7dXVTLh2Nq7MkW-PbnziBPysCQu30pGUr9W_TlaHPaQkOolTG8jfTbNoDWidZ_wHzokCp1PDugXxibPLeFMwY/s1600/bonsai.jpg

Black Picket Fence - Ophiopogon planiscapus

For the past 60 years or so, the American landscape has been awash with sea upon sea of obsessively trimmed green grass. 'The Lawn' conjures images of many of the time-honored, good ol' fashioned USA traditions that shaped our young years; running through sprinklers in summer, playing catch with Pa in the fall, and blowing things up on the 4th of July. If you asked a tiny second grader to draw some grass, they'd reach for the broken piece of green crayon with their sticky little fingers, and make a bunch of small jaggedy lines under some smiling stick figures. This happy normalcy is the Utopian legacy that grass has been bred to give us. But not anymore baby. Not anymore.



Black Mondo Grass (Ophiopogon planiscapus 'Nigrescens') is a relatively new version of the more standard mondo grasses from Japan and Korea developed during the horticultural craze of England in the 1800's. As such, it was created in response to the need of Gothic-style garden makers to have more dramatic and shag-nasty plant palettes to choose from, and is among the most prominent blacks available for the garden. It displays an almost evil purpley/black hue and grows slowly into great swathes of 6-12 inch high leafy goodness... or badness. In the fall, Black Mondo Grass creates shiny black berries that'll stick around all winter, and intensify the sort of creepy 'Garden-of-Hades' effect it has.



Ophiopogon planiscapus 'Nigrescens' will slowly creep around your planting beds like a paranoid shadow, setting off the color of any plants he may encounter. Normally growing about a foot or so high, this is an outstanding yet menacing ground-cover choice, which will say to people "This guy is artistically clever, intellectually complex, and exudes a penchant for great taste. Also, he is handsome." Black Mondo Grass is usually reported as a zone 6-9 plant, but the magic inter-web reveals loads of folks having great success in zone 5. As with most grasses, intensive care isn't necessary for this guy to do well. However even though most grass clumps get cut back in the fall, you probably don't want to do that with Black Mondo, as its such a slow-motion grower. That just means less work. And everyone can appreciate that.



Face it. Regular grass sucks. In lieu of making your yard a sad, soul-less, and dreary eyesore by tacking in a few hundred square feet of sod like everyone else on the block, consider the serious benefits, both in aesthetics and in labor, of Ophiopogon planiscapus 'Nigrescens'. Since your neighbor probably won Neighborhood-Lawn-of-the-Year the past few years, vamp up the nasty in your planting beds with this superior specimen, and capture his trophy. Black Mondo is vicious. It'll make babies cry. It's that good. Or bad. Yeah, Bad.


photo credit:
1] http://www.yourgardenshow.com/plants/7794-Ophiopogon-planiscapus-Nigrescens-
2] http://b.mp-farm.com/d/500x450.watermarks/400000/463605.jpg
3] http://www.paghat.com/images/mondofruit.jpg
4] http://a4dibbleplants.co.nz/images/mondo_grass_lg.jpg

Nature's Lemonade... Besides Real Lemonade... - Rhus typhina

A crazy old gypsy woman once stopped me on the street and cackled, "when life gives you sumac, make lemonade!" Then she danced vivaciously off into the sunset with her tambourine. Though her message was seemingly cryptic and non-sensical, Staghorn sumac (Rhus typhina) was used for generations by native American Indians as a sort of lemonade-esque beverage, which is really rather simple to make. (Requisite dis-claimer: Sumac is a relation to the cashew, so if you or someone you know has a nut allergy of any kind, don't drink the juice. Also, beware of poison sumac. It's poisonous.) If you live someplace more northernly, and can't grow citrus trees of your own for legit lemonade, consider throwin' down on a grove of sumacs.



Sumacs can be used to achieve a whole plethora of effects in the Garden man-scape. Most importantly, it needs to be understood that sumac is an inherently expansive plant, and spreads with plague-like efficiency. You can keep Staghorns in check by boxing in their roots, or using them in a sort of potted situation. I grew up with a sumac right outside our front door as a great looking specimen kept at bay with rocks as mulch. As an ornamental tree-shrub-thing, sumac has an excellent array of features. (Insert used car sales-man voice here) You'll notice first the fuzzy hairs on the branches that look a lot like the antlers of a prized buck, which is where this guy gets his name. The leaves have a habit in the fall of turning vibrant red and looks as though someone took highlighter markers out and scribbled all over the leaves. As these trees get taller, the lower branches can be trimmed off to create a sort of palm tree effect with the remaining canopy, and makes an excellent space underneath for placing a Slip n' Slide.



I think the most obvious feature of the Staghorn Sumac is it's red flower berry contraption which forms in an standing position. (This thing is actually a Drupe, which is a type of seed, like a peach) An array of sumac drupes in the winter is one of the few reminders that the cold desolate wasteland you call home does still have some life left in it. Sumac drupes also make excellent clothes ruiners, as the berries themselves are actually white. The intense red/maroon color comes from a sort of powdery waxy substance that covers the outside of the drupe and is also the part used for sumac lemonade, so if you happen to huck one at your brother's new white polo, be prepared for serious noogies.



Rhus typhina can grow upwards of 15 to 30 feet high, and turns from single plant to way too many plants pretty fast. Don't be afraid to weed whack the life out of new volunteer shoots who might happen to pop up. The leaves will drop in the fall as these are deciduous, but are so vibrantly colored, you won't need to rake 'em up. Don't worry about watering sumacs, or how much sun they get; they do fine with whatever. These are native to the northeast US and southeast Canada, and will typically grow just about wherever you put 'em. Kinda reminds me of MacGuyver. Staghorn sumac will treat ya right, just about any way you use it, for lemonade, slip n' slides, dye-grenades, or anything you devise. Just relax and enjoy the wild color explosion of Rhus typhina.




photo credit:
1] http://www.reocities.com/Hollywood/2063/gypsyC.jpg
2] http://www.flyoverpeople.net/news/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/wild-sumac-lemonade.jpg
3] http://healthyhomegardening.com/images/gardengeek/staghorn_sumac_220801.jpg
4] http://birdworms.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/sumac-berries.jpg
5] http://www.treetopics.com/rhus_typhina/staghorn_sumac_7341.jpg

Tiny Floating Brains - Sedum spectabile

If Dr. Victor von Frankenstein had been digging through graves at night in search of parts and pieces for his Frankenstein monster and happened upon a Sedum spectabile, he may have thought he had found a perfect brain for his creation. I like to think of sedums as tiny floating brains in the Garden Man-scape, each waiting for some mad scientist to implant it into his hideously deformed laboratory creature. What's most disturbing about sedums is the ease with which you can create new specimens from existing plants. Severing just about any piece of the leaves or stalk and planting it in the ground will eventually turn into another full-blown sedum. Imagine if you could do that with people. Creepy.



If you decide to plant a sea of tiny floating brains in your Garden Man-scape, they can be used as single or clump plants. Sedum is a late flowering perennial, so it'll keep the brain in the oven until sometime around late summer or early fall, when you'll notice an explosion of red tops just about everywhere you go. A healthy plant will range somewhere between 18 and 24 inches high, which makes it a pretty killer choice for the first or second row of a mixed border. When all your summer plants start to settle down and lose their color, these little craniums will burst outta nowhere.



On the technical side, Sedums are a member of a group of plants known as Stonecrops, which are a form of succulent. Basically these plants retain lots of water in their leaves and stems, which is evident from the thick, lush character of the plant. This means they are sort of desert-camel-like and won't really need a whole lot of extra water. (Of course, more never hurts...) Also, try to stick these guys someplace with lots of sun to get the best result, but a little shade won't kill 'em. These are also pretty tolerant of cold as a Zone 4 plant, native to Korea and the more northernly chunks of China. I like that about sedum because it means I don't have to buy more of 'em every year. In fact, if you're like me and have a lot more time than money, a single sedum could yield an entire yard of free sedum in just a few years. Now that's thrifty.


Excellent plants are difficult to come by, but Sedum spectabile seems to take the cake. There's really no wrong way to use, plant, or divide this species, and when it comes to providing fall interest, few others can rival the vibrant red hues sedum provides. Imagine Dr. Frankenstein running amok in a wild fantasy garden of grey matter after you pick up a couple sedums and let 'em spread. I mean, yeah the guy was demented. But he's still got good taste.


photo credit:
1] https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeqUpqNDxh308z0ViqjL2ngYq_OxeTEV4ejidCs92Zgoa3Hft7z8XaGTBxBkOJKTIPRt4zdebTOYk71b4IOlXMl_Ll9MR40jMKAt3zsFJaUnn5SYtQRYkFVTBU5fRrXvV7AFbQcMXNFWk/s1600/small.jpg
2] http://content.internetvideoarchive.com/content/photos/006/000264_11.jpg
3] http://pss.uvm.edu/pss123/sedum2.jpg
4] http://www.floridata.com/ref/s/sedu_spe.cfm

Rock's rock of choice - Basalt

Of the hundreds of different types of stone available at just about any garden store, when I think manliness, I think basalt. Basalt is a fine grained lava rock which is normally cools to a handsome mix of grey and black after its violent spewing birth from a volcano, but I think one of basalt's most striking features is it's naturally columnar form. What screams phallic symbol better than a massive chunk of vertical black stone birthed of fire and iron?


In fact Led Zeppelin, the greatest rock and roll band of all space and time to have ever rocked (or rolled), thought basalt formations were so phenomenal that it was used as the setting for the Houses of the Holy album cover in 1973. (featuring tunes like "The Song Remains the Same" and "No Quarter"... dang.) Covered with the writhing nude bodies of young blondes, what rock could ever offer more of a legacy than this? This is truly rock's rock of choice.



Basalt is like God's jet-black-with-white-flames-painted Ferrari F-430, an imposingly sinister specimen. It's as though Moses melted beauty in the burning bush on Mount Sinai, and was presented on high with basalt in it's stead. In the Garden Man-scape, basalt should be used as a focal point either hidden in amongst a variety of plants or near a path or crossroads to add interest and signal the importance of a space. Speaking of space, basalt has been found on the lunar surface of our moon and has been confirmed on Mars. Imagine having a giant chunk of columnar space rock in your backyard garden to show the ladies you mean intergalactic business. Besides, if they don't like it, your Star Wars friends will be impressed.



Basalt also makes a fantastic fountain piece with a large hole bored directly through its center. Best used in groups of a couple to a bunch, try mixing fountain and non-fountain basalt together to create a really killer focal piece. Larger basalt chunks are large enough to use as individual seats or laid on their side can make excellent benches that appear ageless an unweilding. The uses of basalt are limitless, just like the wily cunning of man.

Zombie Willow - Salix gracilistyla

Yeah, I know it sounds dirty.

But consider this: the Japanese, a fearless culture who brought us the manliness..es... (manli-ii?) of samurai and kamikaze, regard the black pussy willow as a representative of the land of the dead. That's why I like to refer to Salix gracilistyla "Melanostachys" as the Zombie Willow. And if that's not something you can hang your hat on, consider for a moment the rarity of real solid black in the horticultural world. In general, nature doesn't produce BLACK, rather shades of deep and dark purple. Zombie Willow is truly a rabid escapee from the underworld for the genuine blackitude of its catkins. Compared to a traditional white pussy willow (Salix caprea which in itself is pretty rad), Zombie Willow appears to have been scorched, blackened, and smited by Satan's prancing minions, and makes an seriously manly statement in the Garden Manscape with its other-wordly presence. I recommend Black Pussy Willow as a specimen plant, sort of like a bit of statuary for the Man-Garden. Almost even better than the gnarly black catkins are the fantastical red stems on which they grow. During a time of year when most everything is dead and gone, the Zombie Willow emerges from a wintry grave and makes a startling centerpiece in an otherwise desolate landscape.


Zombie Willow will benefit from somewhat 'wet' feet, that is to say that like all willows they like a lot of water (and brains...). This is normally a deciduous shrub or small tree, which basically means it'll lose all of its leaves in the fall. But that's good, otherwise we'd miss the black catkins emerging from their sullen tombs in the spring. Zones 5-8 can usually handle a Zombie Willow and they like a lot of sun. Grown in the right sheltered spot, Zone 4 can probably handle these as well. If you're unsure of your zone, check out the USDA Hardiness Zones map at http://www.garden.org/zipzone/ . Just a word to the wise, ignoring hardiness zones is generally a poor decision, so make sure that where you live doesn't get too cold for whatever you put in your Man-Garden. These willows will normally reach about 8' high and 8' wide, but every couple years should be hacked back pretty substantially. Most often a blunt object to the head will take out your standard zombie, but I recommend pruning shears in this case for a full on decapitation. Better to be safe than sorry. An alternative plan is to lop off some limbs regularly to display inside the house in order to keep the hoarde of new branches at bay. Like any serious outbreak of the un-dead, the Black Pussy Willow grows fast so make sure you've placed your specimen someplace you'll like to see it for the next few years as the root system will expand rapidly.

Every solid Garden Manscape should have the elements of danger, intrigue, and brain-crazed zombies. Add the Zombie Willow to your Man-scape to really set yourself apart as a freedom-lovin', hog-ridin', brain bashin', bad attitude mamma-jamma.


photo credit:
1] http://www.djroger.com/salix_melanostachys.jpg
2] https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNoJvgxYaP_ydr4QVJVpuLLyQ1ahnpYilHMJzgY4UR3VtoBp8RwZSZTXYH2Bj2Vku6bD9QY_OIeZCNsusXRIhxc5dXQjChLP8rYR4GFBOdfX8QJiOLlgxNzXhYNcqpIsoRHrh5258uFmg/s1600/salixblckpssywillwebcc.jpg
3] http://images.wikia.com/mailorderzombie/images/f/f9/Night_off_the_Living_Dead.jpg

...Because Explosions Are Awesome... - Hamemalis virginiana

I think we can agree that the best thing about high octane action flicks are the sweet sassy-molassy explosions. But the best thing about a Man-Garden? Also the sweet sassy-molassy explosions. The common Witch Hazel (Hamamelis virginiana) has a wildly interesting fall inflorescence (fancy word for flower) that's normally yellow, orange, and rarely red. Over the course of the next year this crazy formation bundles itself up, creates seeds, and then bursts in a spectacular display of raw power. I suggest practicing duck and cover drills any place within 30 feet of a Witch Hazel, since the little mini-hand grenades it shucks out can travel up to 10 yards. If Schwarzenegger as the Terminator had brought a plant with him when he wrastled the T-1000 robot, it most certainly would have been a Witch Hazel. It's got your back.

Of course, the common Witch Hazel isn't really a hazel at all, (the trickery of witches, no doubt...) although an extract made from the bark is used as an anti-aging agent commonly used by women. So arguably, Witch Hazel prevents witches... (thanks Witch Hazel)



Witch Hazel grows as a sort of in-between shrub/tree... thing. Growth of 15 to 30 feet can normally be expected, and Witch Hazel should get lots of sun and plenty of water. The crazy flower explosions can be expected to last from around October to December, which makes winter suck just a little less for a while. These tree-shrub-things need a loamy soil. Now what the hell does loamy mean? A loam soil has a little bit of everything in it. If your dirt feels real thick'n'sticky or just breaks apart really easily like sand, it probably isn't a loam. Grab a handful and get to the garden store to ask someone what it is. Basically the ground just needs to drain well for the Witch Hazel to be happy. And a happy Witch Hazel is an exploding Witch Hazel.

Since the last few movies you probably watched involved big fiery fireballs, car chases, and sweet hot babes, you'll definitely want to find a spot in your Garden Man-scape for a Witch Hazel. If it's good enough for Arnold, it's good enough for me. 'Cause Arnold's a Man, man.


photo credit:
1] http://www.metromatinee.com/MetromatineMoviewNews/images/exploding%20car%20explosion%20fire%20vehicle%20on.jpg
2] http://www.uwgb.edu/biodiversity/herbarium/trees/hamvir_flower02gf500.jpg
3] http://honr3002.wiki-site.com/images/e/e5/WitchFaceWO184.jpg
4] http://media.photobucket.com/image/recent/elitemidwest/evergreens/shrubs/CommonWitch-hazel.jpg

An American Gladiator - Actaea simplex

Admittedly, Boneset sounds more like an early 90's American Gladiator than a garden plant, but like an American Gladiator it kicks the crap out of just about every fall flowering opponent. It's other common name is bugbane, but that doesn't conjure any clever or snarky parallels to pop culture, so we'll stick with the fear-instilling Boneset and watch as he clobbers a police man and a banker from Ohio in the joust. Purple Snakeroot has been a shifty name changer in the past few years, known previously as Cimicifuga simplex, the lady in the garden store will now respond to Actaea simplex. The first and most obvious thing to notice on this shady character is the big crazy white flower spike that emerges like Boneset's joust in late summer atop the soul-lessly dark burgundy foliage. This kind of contrast should be revered and utilized in the Man-Garden as a metaphor for the great many complex emotions modern man is capable of. Emotions like hunger... happiness... ...can't think of any else.


Purple snakeroot delivers an incredible woft of muscular yet sweet smells throughout the early fall. It harmonizes perfectly with the scent of September and October camp fires and freshly crushed leaves. Make sure not to get any of the wicked flower spike on your roasted marshmallows - - Boneset is definitely poisonous if ingested. If anyone gives you guff about growing such a sweet scented yet burly and imposing plant, re-assure them you're merely growing it as an undetectable poison. Make sure not to make eye contact when you say it, either.

An average plant is will get around 3-6 feet in height and have a couple of foot spread. Like real snakes, snakeroot likes some sun, but too much will scorch it out pretty bad. Boneset also appears best in groups, especially as young plants. As these guys get older, they can be transplanted around as specimen pieces to really showcase your poison-growing abilities. Until then, clump 'em up in a few places throughout the garden to fill space with their dark foliage. This will help create a heavy and shadowed feel to the garden, even if the lion's share is in full sun. Like I said, he's a shady one that snakeroot...

If interviewed in a breathless post-match pant following a rousing victory, Actaea simplex would exclaim through it's thick Eastern-bloc accent "Boneset will make you feel like little girlie woman girl! Bow before most excellent greatness of Boneset's greatness, joust champion of the planet and the world!"


photo credit:
1] http://mimg.ugo.com/200712/25222/cuts/american-gladiators_288x288.jpg
2] http://www.crocus.co.uk/images/products2/PL/00/00/00/13/PL0000001372_card_lg.jpg
3] http://www.gapphotos.com/images/WebPreview/0086/0086976.jpg
4] https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCyScf3a1EhFRnoEqk1qnE2jpS08V9P3Ockqce8h9cTWjZ09ZGzcm9PDXIcLdm9nzUEeJdo-PY9qyiSJQx2-n79iXjBhdttJ48UQXoYEP3xt5EEfhL9rg_HodRsoqHJ9N7erZfzeoQj0Q/s1600/big.jpg